It is exciting to think about the leadership story at my school, as it is one that is so motivational right now. I feel that Lisa displays so many of the qualities I value in a leader; in fact, she is one of the main reasons I’m in this program right now. I’ve always felt that I have a bent for leadership, but seeing her in action I finally realized that I could have - with learning, help, and humility - the ability to be a strong leader. Speaking with Bela was great because we both see ourselves as growing leaders, and much of it is due to the relationships we have been able to forge with our students. Seeing the effect of those relationships - and how we are able to affect the behaviour of those students - is a boost to the confidence and to the realization that we can make a difference in a larger sphere. As we were discussing earlier, the leader who visits classrooms and becomes an integral part of the school atmosphere is imperative toward building a culture of trust and “family”. That is the kind of leader I want to be. The challenge for me, I’ll be honest, is in seeing the strengths in everyone; especially those who appear to be so entrenched and unwilling to change. One thing I have found that helps me in this - I’ve been aware of it and working on it for a while now - is trying to understand that person’s underlying motivations and/or fears. This is where the courses I’ve taken in psychology over the past few years have proven to be invaluable. They opened my eyes to the realization that behaviour is communication for adults, too. I haven’t always thought of it that way, but now I see that the unwillingness to try a new teaching style is likely to be fear of failure or uncertainty as to how to proceed. Instead of being frustrated (I’m trying), I now approach the issue in my own mind by trying to see what I can do to lessen those fears (aside from doing it completely myself!). This helps me to shift the lens and see what the teacher is doing well already, and how I can build on that. It is quite a mind shift for me, and definitely one that needs more development. However, having started it, I find that already I am better able to work with and collaborate with most of the teachers I encounter. The ones that still challenge me deeply are those who appear to refuse change simply because they cannot be bothered. Perhaps those ones will never be convinced that doing something for the best of the children is all the motivation we need.
The Possibilities of Community: Reflections
I’m very excited to read Peter Block’s book on community, as the quotes contained in the powerpoint that were from Block are ones that excite me and make me think. “Community is about the experience of belonging...” - this quote encapsulates what I believe the school should be; a place where everyone who enters - parent, staff member, or student - feels that he or she plays a valuable role in bringing the whole together. His quote on dissent is the most powerful in the presentation: “Dissent: Creating space for dissent is the way diversity gets valued in the world. Inviting dissent into the conversation is how we show respect for a wide range of beliefs.” On the surface of it, what a counterintuitive idea! We are going to strengthen our relationships by disagreeing?! Upon further reflection, however, one sees how completely necessary this is. It is tempting, with strong beliefs, to close our eyes and ears to other viewpoints, and thus convince ourselves that no others exist. Those that are loud enough to break through the barrier can often be dismissed as outliers, and therefore our beliefs can remain secure.This quote reminds us that true beliefs should be able to withstand opposition and that allowing our voice to be heard - and really hearing others in return - is the way to preserve those beliefs while at the same time refusing to dismiss those who disagree. This idea reminds me of Margaret Wheatley’s encouraging leaders to develop a “willingness to be disturbed.” Our society seems to want to protect itself from all discomfort, but without it there cannot be genuine growth.
Another quote I love in the powerpoint - and I’m not sure whose it is - regards curiosity: “Curiosity is what we need. We don’t have to let go of what we believe, but we do need to be curious about what someone else believes.” So often people are scared to explore the beliefs of others, with the fear that such exposure will taint or challenge our own closely held beliefs. The idea of “curiosity” - simple and childlike at its core - takes away some of this fear and allows for more openness to other ideas. Another quote offers a similar perspective on being willing to open up oneself to possibilities: “As we work together we need to include a new and strange ally - our willingness to be disturbed. Our willingness to have our beliefs and ideas challenged by what others think…” And I would add to that, that being willing does not mean blindly accepting the beliefs of others. Rather, it is the imperative of every person to listen, then evaluate using our personal compass to determine what we truly believe. Blind acceptance is as dangerous as willfully closing our eyes to change.
One of the quotes that is particularly relevant to me at this time, concerns care: “Daily we encounter moments to care...Moments that move us beyond ourselves, that connect us to our humanity...if we are open they are everywhere.” I encounter this daily with the students and parents I see. I have found that when I approach each person by wondering what small thing I can do to ease their worries or share their joys, I can make multiple tiny ripples throughout the day. My hope in doing this is that each one of those to whom I’ve shown care, will then pass along that gift to others. The challenge is in noticing; who is sad, but trying to hide it? Who is excited, and only waiting for a question so that they can share? Who appears belligerent but is really scared and needs reassurance? This quote reminds me how crucial it is - with my desire to foster a greater sense of community in the school - to make these small connections each day, and hopefully...with time...create a ripple effect where everyone is caring for others.
A final quote that touches me deeply is that, “There are no real conversations without vulnerability.” I love the concept of being vulnerable, and I find it fascinating to reflect about with whom in my life I feel that I can be vulnerable, and who not. I am fully aware that I often feel safe when being vulnerable, and this stems largely from my life. I have had a life filled with love, with acceptance, with a growing confidence in myself and a healthy self-esteem. All of these things have created a “self” that I am comfortable sharing, even if I know it differs from the norm. While I recognize that many of the people I encounter have not had the same experiences and will be more reluctant to be vulnerable, I do think that vulnerability is often reciprocal: if one person opens up, the other is more likely to feel that it is safe to do so. I want to use my willingness to be vulnerable - really, it is a gift that I have been given through my wonderful life - to help others feel safe and open as well. We are such a social species, and there is a cathartic effect to opening up about difficult emotions and sharing them with another. I love to think that I might have the ability to help someone experience this.
As I stand at this metaphorical crossroads in my career - both as teacher and as leader - I see that one of my challenges will be in depending on others as well as myself. Of course, as a human I often depend on others for small things (and in the case of family, for immense things). But as a teacher I am the one making decisions in my classroom, and if I see a need, I am able to address it. An administrator, by contrast, must by definition rely on others in the building to ensure that needs are being met. That requires a level of trust in those others that does not come easily to me. I see that it is important, and necessary - in fact, vital - for the health of the school; but it still does not come easily to me. That is why I view it as a crossroads question: how do I open myself up to have trust in others to do what needs to be done, when they do it differently from how I would? When my instinct will be to rely on myself first? I feel faith that as I progress through this program I will learn to do that. Looking for the strengths in others and learning about new methods to accomplish our goals is one way that I plan to begin doing this...starting now!
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